ILY yourself
Mental non-wellbeing is probably more common than Santal 33.
And I know there are bunches and bunches of things/techniques/practices around that can help. But of all the things I’ve tried, I wanted to share the three that have had the most profound effect on my life in the last couple years.
Three simple behaviours that are designed to improve the relationship you have with yourself and stay on the sunny side of self-love.
Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.
I was in another hideously confronting therapy session when my dude noted how hard I am on myself. (And it’s no secret. People have been telling me that for years.) I one hundred percent chastise myself when I don’t achieve things or let myself down. But after a moment he asked, “would you ever say those kinds of things to another person, like a mate?” And I was all like, “duh – of course not. I would never call a friend fat or stupid or not successful enough.”
And he was like, “ummm so why do you talk to yourself like that?!”
It was such an intense moment and the beginning of a huge shift in how I relate to myself.
Since that day, I make sure that when I’m running things through my mind, I talk to myself in the same way I talk to my best friend. Because I love and respect my best friends, so why in the sweet living heck wouldn’t I talk to myself like that.
It’s the difference between thinking, “you fucked up today, you fucking idiot!” and, “you’re only human. You’re still cute, and good on you for trying.”
Write yourself a love letter.
This sounds incredibly lame. Sooo lame. But I promise you it’s one hundred percent worth it.
So, first of all, it’s not a sex letter (in case you’re thinking that). It’s a love letter.
It’s a piece of paper and a pen, and writing an ode to yourself in a deeply loving and respectful way.
It’s a fascinating exercise because it forces you to see yourself in a different light. And if you’re like me, it forces you to say some things you may have never said to yourself before.
It forces you to have to think outstandingly incredible things about yourself, and put them on paper. It forces you to acknowledge what kind of person you are, to praise yourself for being a dope-ass legend, and to identify some parts of yourself that you perhaps don’t love (which, spoiler alert, is the beginning of growth)
Give yourself permission to relax.
We can be slightly highly strung at times. So, granting ourselves permission to sit still and just be is kinda critical to enjoying some much needed balance in life.
For me, that could be giving myself permission to be a lazy, hungover piece of trash on Sunday instead of feeling guilty for 8 solid hours for not going outside or exercising.
And this means having a conversation with yourself like, “yo, you worked hard this week. It’s now Sunday, the bozo from last night has finally found his way out, and now you deserve to turn your phone off and watch some Law and Order SVU. Enjoy it now because tomorrow you’re gonna be back to business.”
That feels like ‘compartmentalisation’. And I think that’s a skill that can be developed over time. IDK. I need to ask a psychologist.
In summary, take care.