The Pride Guide
Written by Jordan Davies in association with some party gays.
The moment you’ve been shredding for has finally arrived: Sydney World Pride 2023!
But before you flood our feeds with selfies from the pre-drinks and recovery pics at Bondi, here are a few things designed to help you have the most joyous festive season.
Stock up on essentials.
Here are a couple things you might wanna add to your grocery list.
For the night: mixers, protein bars (to line your stomach), and condoms and lube if you’re feeling optimistic.
For the morning: panadol, vitamins, hydralite, and something to eat if you wanna avoid Uber Eats’ outrageous service fees, like a frozen lasagna, My Muscle Chef etc.
A spare toothbrush: great for the guy who’s about to do a walk to shame.
Spray deodorant: if you’re a roll-on gal and someone gets sweaty, it’s very chic to have a non-invasive solution on hand.
Ice (the frozen water kind): it’s summer in Australia and if someone’s made the journey to your place, don’t insult them with a room temp bev.
Make up remover: even if you’re too masc for a smokey eye or smudge of glitter, the guy you bring home might not be. It’ll save your sheets and is good for your skin which is already taking a beating from the alcohol and sleep deprivation.
Practice safe partying.
For anyone that’s been off carbs for the last few weeks, be aware that you really need to eat before you go out. This shouldn’t be new information.
When it comes to drugs, be aware that it’s super likely there’ll be dogs at some of these events, so be prepared. Nominate ur best btm friend to be the mule (they’ll probably like it!) And when you’re inside, try to have a buddy system going with someone who won’t leave you high and dry in the middle of the night. And will remember to call you in the morning to make sure you didn’t get Jeffrey Dahmer’d.
What you may not know: mixing SSRIs (antidepressants) with a lot of MDMA can give you a serotonin overdose with symptoms ranging from shivers to seizures – it’s the literal definition of ‘too much of a good thing.’ Also, combining Viagra and amyl can give you a heart attack which, to be honest, sounds like a problem for the truly vers – and we need to protect them.
Practice safe hooking up.
Be honest about whether you have an STI or a partner – either can be a bit of a turn off.
If you’re not on PrEP full time, you can take two before you hook up and two the next day to hopefully prevent contacting the hiv. Or, ya know, wear a rubber.
And remember that there’s no reason to go through with something that makes you uncomfortable. The journey to someone’s bed may have sobered you up, and even if you’re on your knees like an alter boy in front of the late George Pell, know that you’re under no obligation to go through with anything.
Be nice.
Sydney Gays already have a big reputation (made worse by that podcast) and we’re hosting, so be cool.
And, I hate that I have to say this, but don’t be a jerk about anyone’s body. Most dudes have been working extremely hard to feel confident at Pride. Don’t be the reason someone keeps their kaftan on.
Don’t fuck your mate’s crush.
There are dudes in this world who can’t help but swoop in on a guy even if their friend is interested. They’re the worst type of person to have in your life and there’s a reason they don’t have many friends.
Respect your mates and remember that just because someone’s there, it does not mean you need to fuck them.
If the situation becomes unavoidable, have the decency to talk to your mate before they find out at the Beresford.
Take time to rest.
Pride is a 17-day marathon, so it’s fine to skip the gym or the kick-ons or tomorrow’s boozey brunch. There’s always the next party. You’ll run yourself down and get sick.
Before you go out:
Tidy up
Leave a bottle of water next to your bed.
Chuck a spare towel in the bathroom in case someone comes over and needs a shower.
Keep a spare key somewhere convenient in case it falls out of your jockstrap on the dance floor. Or just leave one under the doormat (unless you need it for bumps.)
Text someone who’s already at the party to find out how long the line is, whether there are cops/dogs. In fact, if you’re first to the event why not post a story with some helpful emojis (🦮 & 👮🏻♀️) for everyone else. Safety first, boyz.