Written by Jordan Davies, Millenial
The VMAs this year felt like a who’s-who of new and emerging talent who have been plucked from obscurity due to their uniqueness, which makes for an interesting red carpet.
Notable absences: 90% of musicians 30+ who aren’t really interested in the Gen Z market.
Emerging from an inky-blue ocean of Jean Paul Gaultier like a MF siren. If Ursula had a good twin, this is that bitch.
Is she announcing her new album or that she’s doing season 37 of Dancing with the Stars?
I’m kinda into this asymmetric heart-on-the-outside-of-your-boob situation. It’s a medical marvel by Schiaparelli featuring a bald-guy-in-denial comb over bang.
Wednesday Addams attends the premier of her new Netflix show in Carolina Herrera. It’s giving 🔝
Love this lewk. Would’ve been better on someone in the music industry.
Despite this being a sartorial all-star line up: Celine, Dior, Chanel and Saint Laurent, I wish there’d been more thought/colour put into the hair and make-up.
I’d wear this to a bank heist on October 31st.
I don’t think anyone can wear an effortlessly sexy gown without doing that effortlessly sexy playing-with-my-nails pose.
Vivienne Westwood showing ‘em how it’s done.
This tarot card-inspired dress by Zuhair Murad is bloody spectacular. Plot twist: it’s open alllll down the sides bringing new meaning to the phrase, “split the deck.”
I’m getting Stanley Tucci meets relaxing in your boyfriends work shirt with Bellatrix Lestrange booties.
Bros is out 30 September, nipples are out now.
His speech was lit.
Wonder Woman’s Malibu-inpsired resort wear designed by Paris Hilton in 2001.
DC really stands for “Damn, Chlöe!”
The contact paper on my year 3 school books coming back to haunt me.
Billy Eichner’s future ex-husband makes flairs and sunglasses look uncomfortable.
“I want to look like a stripper heel,” she said. “On a hot Miami morning.”
AKA Conan Gray AKA the Ezra Miller reboot.
I’d call this a look for the sake of having a look.
Dazy by name, dazy by nature.
Looks like the nicest drug dealer ever!
AKA Dixie D'Amelio.
I feel like that wrap detail on the hip of the gown is dimming her light.
This is 100% the reference image Madonna is taking to her surgeon.
The dress is Paco Rabanne and potentially two inches too short on the btm hem.
Dope pattern by Bode, but not super flattering, is it?
Also, slay for stealing my dad’s office shoes from 1993.
No panic, no disco.
I call this the line between fucking awesome and trying very fucking hard.
Dude in cape 🥵
It’s giving “straight white male.”
I have no idea who this is but… does that name not remind you of “Renesmé” from Twilight? lol.
The outfit is similarly quirky. She looks stoked to be there.
AKA Johnny Orlando
It’s a lot.
Somewhere out there, a fencer is engaging in battle without pants on.
Orange County Republican chic.
AKA Lauren Spencer-Smith
I’ve heard she’s been axed from the 3rd season of Euphoria.
I’m seeing an homage to Cher wearing Bob Mackie at the 1986 Oscars with just a dash of biblical portraiture.
That’s a strong BMI too.
I wish she’d put her hair up because despite this dress being mostly lace, it’s weighing her down like a multi-season CW contract.
Could’ve been Fifth Element, but it’s more like Third.
AKA Prince Derek Doll
And speaking of the Fifth Element… Bzzzzz
This caramel number has been perforated for easy alterations. Bag inspired by SPC canned fruit.
Watch Drag Race France.
AKA Remi Wolf.
Design challenge c. season 2 of Drag Race.
AKA Ryan Mitchell
*Gets rowdy after his first capri sun*
Super cute pattern by Moschino.
This style of dress is the 2020s version of the single-sleeve top ➡️
Hates to waste fake tan.
Literally knows no one else here, is looking forward to splitting a blunt with Lizzo at the afterparty.
This feels like draft 1 of a lewk.
AKA That Girl Lay Lay.
Whatever she set out to achieve, I hope she got there.
AKA Zeez Louize
And I’m fucking done.
